We are living in a world full of masks and pretention. But why we keep on ignoring things that irritates us and often times may lead to being one of them as part of the group. Bakit? Dahil kailangan. Walang choice. Wala pang lakas ng loob. And the worst hindi pa alam ang gagawin.

Pitiful scenario. Accept it or not, this often happens to us. To me.

Mula sa pinakapangit hanggang sa pinakamagandang bagay na nangyayari sa atin sa araw-araw, we continue to grow, to know what are the wrong decisions that we keep on making and the wrong conclusions that we keep on injecting to our selves.

Pinapaniwala lang ang sarili.

Pinapaasa lang ang sarili.

Sinasaktan lang ang sarili.

God has given us several choices, opportunies and open doors. It is up to us kung alin ang pipiliin mo. Kung dumating ang time na marealize mo na mali ang pinili mo, then if you can drive back to pick your self up..do.

Ang hirap sumayaw sa isang tugtog na di mo alam ang steps o di mo gusto. Mahirap magpanggap na napakaganda ng tugtog kung di mo kayang sabayan. At di mo kahit kailan masasayaw ang isang tugtog ng ganun kaganda kung wala sa puso mo ang sinasayaw mo.

Everything should be comming from our hearts. Although we are afraid to show what we feel dahil minamanipulate ka, still darating yung time na dapat ka ng manindigan. Kailan ba masasabing isa kang traydor?

Kapag nag-iwan ka sa ere?

Kapag nagpaasa ka ng tao?

Kapag di mo tinupad yung inaasahan nila sayo?

Lahat ng tao ay may kanya-kanyang expectations. Ang mahirap, they are expecting you to be the one that they are expecting. At ikaw ano ba ang expectation mo sa sarili mo? Parehas ba ng expectation nila?

Kung hindi.

Mahirap yan.

At this point, in my personal note, it is difficult. I dont know. I'll think when I get there.

And when I get there.

It lang yun.

Soaring high is great, but falling down is painful.

Kapag dumating ang ganitong pagkakataon na tatanungin mo ang sarili mo kung "Kaya ko pa ba?" nagkakaroon ka na ng pag-aalinlangan sa iyong sariling kakayahan at abilidad.

Lahat naman ng tao ay dumadating sa ganitong sitwasyon. But basically this could be answered by another question, "Ikaw ba yung tipo ng tao na sumusuko at umaayaw?". Definetely we will urgently say that "Of course not! I'm not a coward."

Hindi masamang umayaw. Practically, why put your self in the battle which is not worth fighting for? We have to choose our battles..little battles maybe..then another step to a bigger battle..until you are well equiped to face the biggest battles and  challenges ahead.

The battle is over. I've learned a lot, yes, but I have no more guts to continue what I have started.

I gave my self a lot of chances that maybe somehow darating yung time na makakapag-adjust ako in the way that they wanted me to be. It molded me to a different me, a new me. I learned to accept my weaknesses and embrace my crafts. Pero kahit alam kong kaya ko, I am still going back to what I am and what can I do na doon ako komportable. Komportable.

A lot may say "push you self to the limit". Pero pano ka kaya makakarating sa limit na yun?

As a person, alam ko na di pa ito yung limit ko. I can do more much better than this. I can excel as high as the mountain. But if you are not happy anymore and your emotions are killing you softly, I doubt if I can be able to push my self to the limit.

Time has come that I need to decide. I need to move on. Noon lagi kong tinatanong kung ano yung trigger point for me to come up with the final decision. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na "Kaya pa naman eh".. And I am hoping that somehow, everything will change sa lahat ng aspect.

Lahat naman di nadadaan sa magic. Lahat pinaghihirapan. Kung kelangan ng sakripisyo, e di magsakripisyo. Pero lahat ng bagay natatapos din. We will always ask, "When will be the end?".

Tayo lang ang makakapagsabi nun kung hanggang saan lang tayo. Lahat dapat may bouderies, may cut-off....may limitasyon.

All things will never be the same again. I will never be as productive as what I am the last time around. I used to be not a problem maker. That is why it is hard for me to be the same again.

I know God has given me the right sign to think of what's ahead of me. Not as what was dictated, not as what was promised. I want the way of life that I want.